This year we headed back to Colorado for Thanksgiving.  Like you, I woke up with a myriad of images and memories from Thanksgivings gone by.  I shared some of my favorite memories on Facebook and I even made sure to listen to Alice’s Restaurant, a family tradition.  What I did not know, was this Thanksgiving would be more about letting go of what had always been.

We began the day waking up in my stepson’s new home.  I did not smell any of the usual Thanksgiving morning smells.  My stepson and his wife made a plan to get out to the gym so they could eat to their heart’s content when they visited family later that day.  Our shared Thanksgiving would be celebrated on Friday.  My husband and I looked at each other and thought – now what?

Off we went to Whole Foods to purchase some items for Friday’s gathering.  By the size of the crowd there, we apparently weren’t the only ones having an unusual Thanksgiving.  Thankfully, Whole Foods put out quite a spread on the buffet table with many of the usual choices so we sat down and enjoyed stuffing and gravy.  I wondered though – where will we be having dinner?  It then hit me – what if, rather than driving around looking for the right restaurant to be open on Thanksgiving evening, we cooked our own dinner.  We love to cook and I thought why not have something new on Thanksgiving.  As we filled our shopping cart – I had to ask myself – are you sure you can do this?  The answer was yes – just let go.  Who says it needs to be a certain way?  Seafood – yes, that’s right, seafood was what we decided upon.  Baked clams, crabcakes, salmon, shrimp and asparagus.

Prior to cooking on Thanksgiving evening, my husband and I took a drive up to Estes Park where we had been married just over a year ago.  In early September of this year, Colorado experienced horrific floods and I was curious to see what, if any of the damage still remained.  Up U.S. Route 34 we drove and were blown away at the devastation that was still quite evident.   Entire hillsides were gone, the bottom of homes had fallen into the raging river and what was left for us to see – were appliances still hanging by a thread, precariously dangling over a cliff.  There were mobile homes upside down and cars standing nose down into the mud, entire dam’s gone.  We drove through the town of Drake, CO – entirely wiped out!  The Big Thompson Canyon’s Indian Village shop – gone.  My husband, a long time Coloradan viewed the scene and declared – “I can’t believe how much the landscape has changed.”  Inside, I kept hearing “let go let go let go”.   These people lost homes, businesses and communities and had no choice but to let go.   Further on we drove and saw a herd of big horned sheep eating at the side of the road.  My husband said they “never” come down the mountain – I wondered if even these rams were being asked to let go of what had always been.

The next day, our Thanksgiving celebration day, or Black Friday to many others, I had planned to meet up with a friend at 9:00 am who I hadn’t seen in awhile.  When I woke up, I remembered – I had two coaching calls scheduled, beginning at 7:30 am which would mean I could not see my friend.  I thought, let go let go let go.  I went downstairs to prepare for the calls and found that someone was asleep on the couch.  I thought, well, I could go outside and take the calls – and got myself dressed – only to find out that it was 26 degrees.  New plan – off I drove to the local Starbucks, got myself situated and ready for the first call – no call.  I texted my client and she said I didn’t think we were speaking today.  Let go let go let go.  New plan.  How else can I use this time?  I had volunteered to pick up the turkey from my husband’s ex wife’s house, so I decided to take call #2 from there.  As I drove over to her home, I thought – how odd – here I am being asked to let go again.  Let go of anyone else’s idea of what a relationship with a husband’s ex ought to be.  Let go of any notion that there should be any animosity or disdain for this woman who in reality is very much like me.  Let go of judgment or fear and go with the flow.

Later that day, we all gathered at my stepson’s home, my husband, my stepchildren, his ex wife and I.  I won’t pretend that there weren’t awkward moments, but that’s all they were, moments.  Moments that didn’t need to be defined by previous conditioning.  Moments that ask me to be my best self.  Moments where I got to experience and share love.  Moments where I got to appreciate this woman’s love for her boys and discover how in love with all of them I’ve become.

Had any of this occurred 5 years ago – I am sure I would have had a list of “justified” stories of my wounds and resentments to share about all that transpired.  I am so grateful for the teachers, coaches and spiritual direction I have availed myself to that incrementally has led me to appreciating THIS moment and all the players in it.  “Letting Go of What Has Always Been” is giving me a gift of experiencing this moment for what it is.

What are you being asked to let go of?

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